By Kim Barthel

Why, even when we know we know we are living with emotional pain, don’t we seek help?

Here are some thoughts people have about seeking help:

– I don’t need any help; everyone else does.

– Therapists are condescending, fluffy or crazy themselves.

– Therapy is expensive.

– If people hear I’m seeing a therapist, they’ll think I’m nuts or weak.

– If I talk with my friends about my “issues”, they’ll tell other people.

– I tried talking with a counsellor, and it made me feel worse.

– My problems aren’t really that bad; I’ve lived with them this long.

– If my story gets out, other people will get hurt.

– I’m ashamed of what I did.

– Healing is hard and I don’t have extra energy.

– I don’t believe there’s anything that will make me feel better about myself.

Thoughts to consider that may encourage you:

– Healing is actually a natural process; negative thoughts like the “rationalizations” above only serve to stand in its way.

– It’s not what happened to you but how you dealt with it that affects how you feel.

– You are ultimately the only person who is in charge of how you feel and you are the only person who can change how you feel.

– Some friends know how to listen and when to keep secrets.

– Some therapists are rational, caring people who do help people, everyday.

– If you truly believe the responsibility for your problems lie 100% with other people, that is often a sign of needing help.

– Your kids will likely repeat your coping/healing strategies, for better or for worse.

– Keeping your emotions silent can make you physically sick.

– When your healing happens, it doesn’t just make you feel better, but everyone around you too.

– Even if your healing doesn’t make you lose weight, you’re guaranteed to feel lighter.

– You don’t need to be perfect, but you do deserve your own love.

– You are not alone even if it feels like it.

– It is never too late to change; there is always the possibility to repair relationships.