I’ve been down many roads on this journey of my life. Some of those roads have terrified me, some I’ve been dragged down without my consent. Some roads have led me to great people who brought even greater people to me ~ my wife, my kids, my friends. I’ve also willingly gone down a few roads knowing it was wrong, knowing I was making a mistake, and yet I went anyway.
These past few months have been tougher than I anticipated. Not many people have to see the face of their rapist in every newspaper, on thousands of websites, next photos of their own in several publications, and on blogs all over the place. Not many people have to give public interviews and answer questions about their rapists for weeks on end. I have. And I thought I was powering through it, that it wasn’t affecting me all that much. I was wrong.
I began to have flashbacks; I began to seek comfort with a few people who didn’t have my best interests at heart. Thankfully I’ve recognized this was happening before anything bad happened, and I’m recommitting myself along with my family, to seeking professional help with a very understanding and knowledgeable counselor. Overall, I feel relieved to have this help and this understanding of what it’s like to be a Victor over child sex abuse.
I want to thank you…all of you…who have prayed for me, who have sent me encouraging messages, who have shared your own stories with me. I can never tell you enough how much that means to me.
I’m going to take the next few months to focus on continuing my path to healing, and I encourage you all to do the same. I’m not perfect, no one is, so I want to be sure to let you all know that I struggle like you do, I face what you do, and I’m committed to never ending my quest for healing.
I share this in a public way with you because, as I’ve long said, you’re only as sick as your secrets, and I don’t want to have any more secrets. I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished, and although I’ve stumbled along the way, I know that with your help we can change the world for victims of sexual abuse.